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SCENE 6 fate gags. Ishmael gasps. fate holds up her hand: "Just a minute" Ishmael: "Those are not my shoes!" fate: "If this... head... was a witness to the transaction we will need to swear it in. [to flunky]: Do your job." flunky walks over to the monkey and begins: "Repeat after me..." Monkey-General throws the head on the witness stand. flunky turns toward the stand: "I, head, do solemnly swear..." Ishmael: "Your honor! This is most foul!" Monkey-General: "I heed, do solely sware..." flunky: " ...to keep my eyes open and me ears perked throughout the trial..." Monkey-General: "...to keep my ears open and my eyes poked throughout the trial..." flunky: " ...and to give evidence as truthfully as I can without vocal chords..." Monkey-General: "...and to give evidence as vocal chords." fate nods solemnly: "That will do just fine." Ishmael: "I object, the Prosciutto is leading the witness!" fate [to Ishmael]: "Your objection is sustained, it is indeed most foul. However, foulness being natural in a disembodied head, it will be allowed to carry on as a witness. And it can't be led because it hasn't any feet. Now, where were we?" flunky: "Shoes." Ishmael: "I suppose he is the head witness." fate [to Ishmael]: "Correct, he is the head witness, and we are only missing the body of evidence, but perhaps that will turn up in due course." Monkey-General: "Your honor, may I precede the witness?" fate [to Monkey-General]: "Please do." Ishmael steps down and gives the stand to the head. He shakes in agitation. fate [to Ishmael]: "No, you can stay, we will have two witnesses, twice the truth potential. Never say justice isn't double-headed!" Ishmael hopes bystander is doing good engravings of him in various states of rage. He gets back on the stand and is told to hold the dead head as there is only one chair. fate: "So, Ishmael, you say you didn't steal these shoes? What evidence can you produce in support of this claim?" Monkey-General slips the red shoes on her hands and hold them up. Ishmael: "Your honor I can't believe this! This monkey would not sell me these shoes... they are HERS! DAVID and WILSON belong to HER!" Monkey-General: "Your honor, I object." fate: "On what grounds?" Ishmael: "SHE is lying." Monkey-General: "Ishmael is leading the witness." Ishmael: "Go ahead... ask the head." fate: "I will have to make a judgment here. [to the head]: Who is lying here?" Ishmael holds up deserter's head... high. Blood drips from the severed stub of a neck. fate: "The head seems to be pleading nolo contendere, so I will pass judgment." Monkey-General . o O (ah, this takes me back to Mexico) fate: "I admit I deeply dislike shoe-based evidence. It always leads to bad puns. I do not want to be forced into saying something about 'if the shoe fits' in this courtroom. Therefore I rule that the shoes are immaterial... some form of virtual leather." Ishmael: "Unless of course it is really big-shoe evidence." Monkey-General: "This is not about the shoes, your honor..." fate bangs her fist down, lacking a gavel. Monkey-General: "...but it is the theft of their soles that is at question here." fate: "Aha, why didn't you say so before? Where are the missing souls now? Monkey-General: "I'm afraid the defendant threw them in the sea." fate: "And which of the missing ones are we concerned with? [points at the corpseless head]: His?" Monkey-General: "No, the horse's." Ishmael has a faraway look in his eye. Ishmael: "To they that go down to the sea..." Ishmael drops the head. It rolls over to the monkey and stares sightlessly up at her. Monkey-General picks up the head and puts it under her arm. Ishmael sits staring and dreaming of the sea.
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