Silent Orpheus

[roughly in order of appearance]

Orpheus: Marlena Corcoran
Cerberus, dogMaenad: Lise Patt
maryMaenad: Joe Ferrari
Vinny: Richard Foerstl
Eurydice, Eurymaenad: Cathy Caplan
Hades: Richard Smoley

Digital.Director: Antoinette LaFarge

                                   Digital_Director bows to the
                                    assembled audience
maryMaenad whirls around

                                   Digital_Director says,
                                    'Welcome one and all and all
                                    for one!'
                                   Digital_Director says,
                                    'Welcome to the Plaintext
                                    Players special Day Without
                                    Art presentation of:'
                                   SILENT ORPHEUS

                                   Digital_Director says, 'You
                                    guests are welcome to move
                                    around, talk among
                                    yourselves.... heckle....
paper wrustle

                                   Digital_Director says, 'We
                                    appreciate your, uh,
shoe shuffle
absolute silence
                                   Cerberus rolls eyes
                                   Digital_Director says, 'And
                                    help yourself to some of
                                    that wine over there'
over here
                                   Digital_Director says, 'Allow
                                    me to begin by telling you
                                    a small story:'
                                   about a poet and singer named
testify sister
                                   Digital_Director taps her toes
                                   Digital_Director says, 'It
                                    seems this Orpheus,
                                    legendary singer and poet,
                                    had a wife named Eurydice'
uh huh
                                   Digital_Director says,
                                    'Unfortunately, she was
                                    bitten by the Mythic Snake
                                    and died and went to the
it's always blamed on
                                                                        it's always snakes' fault
hello world
                                   and this is the Gates of Hell
                                    right here.
Orpheus says, 'I hate prose.'
                                   Digital_Director says, 'So
                                    Orpheus decided to go down
                                    to the Underworld and bring
                                    Eurydice back to Earth. Talk
                                    about ambitious.'
Orpheus says, 'It just goes
 on and on.'
it's not nice to hate
                                   Digital_Director senses
                                    theat she is losing the
Orpheus says, 'You'd think
 she'd let me tell the story.'
                                   she is
Orpheus says, 'Me, the poet.'
                                   Digital_Director says, 'And
                                    now, without further
just tell it 
 like it is
                                   CURTAIN UP
Orpheus tunes up his lyre.
maryMaenad cleans her ears
Orpheus sings an old story.
                                   NEAR THE GATES OF HELL
--I am the music.
                                   THE PROLOGUE
there's more than one gate?
--The music tells a story.
--This is my story.
--Orpheus loves Eurydice.
um pa pa
--No one knows the whole of
--Each one plays a part.
um pa pa
--Eurydice is my heart.
um pa pa
Orpheus bows shyly.
um pa pa
Vinny calls his agent.
                                   that's it?
Little rocks cascade down the
Orpheus says, 'The river
 leaps for joy.'
                                   what did you expect?
Big rocks follow
The animals line up and bat
 their paws.
There's one problem.
the sky does somersaults
watch out clouds
Where is she?
Orpheus says, 'Where is she?'
where o where
                                   CURTAIN DOWN
                                   BRIEF PAUSE
                                   thank you
Orpheus says, 'I told you I 
 could make it short.'
Vinny looks at Mary
maryMaenad says, 'Don't look
 at me'
                                   Cerberus shakes head
                                                                        Eury says, 'All ready or
maryMaenad says, 'i didn't
 do it'
                                   SCENE 1: AT THE GATES OF HELL

                                   CURTAIN UP
Vinny cracks his knuckles.
                                   Orpheus says, 'Be
                                    grateful--the next
                                    scene stars a dog.'
                                   Cerberus awakens from a deep
maryMaenad knuckles some crack
maryMaenad hides her bone
                                   Cerberus picks at the lice
                                    behind his ears
                                   dead of course
                                   dogs hate poetry
                                   Cerberus scans the horizon
                                   The Styx rolls quietly
                                    inoffensively along
                                   makes them drool
                                   makes them cry
                                   red of course
                                   makes them vomit
                                   makes them howl
                                   makes them chase ctas
                                   makes them eat shit
look --->
                                   Cerberus looks
                                   enough about dogs already
                                   Orpheus appears in the
                                    near distance.
don't look <--
                                   very near the Gates of Hell,
                                    in fact
                                   Cerberus vomits
                                   He's on a boat with a
                                    whole lot of--dead
                                   Charon's boat
                                   a boat grinds up on the
                                    shores of Hell
                                   groans from the boat
                                   no one gets off
                                   The boatman says, Last
                                   but it's not empty....
                                   why should they
                                   Cerberus sniffs the dead
                                   Huddled in the midst of
                                    them is our hero.
                                   Cerberus sniffs their
                                   Orpheus locks eyes one
                                    last time with Charon.
                                   Every soul staggers
                                    through the gates of
                                   But one.
                                   Cerberus growls when he comes
                                    to Orpheus
                                   Charon waves him on
                                   Orpheus says, 'Wait!'
                                   Orpheus says, 'I'm the
                                    only one who wants to
maryMaenad waves to mom in
 the audience
                                   Cerberus says, 'Beat it
                           ain't getting in
                                   shhh... let's have alittle
                                    respect for the dead
                                   Cerberus says, 'You ain't

                                   Orpheus says, 'The body
                                    is a tomb.'
                                   Orpheus says, 'Ergo I'm
                                   a bag of shit
                                                                        soma sema
                                   Cerberus says, 'You got that
                                    wrong also'
                                   Orpheus smirks at this
                                    successful bit of Greek
                                   can't fault his logic
                                   Cerberus says, 'It's the anus
                                    that's a tomb'
                                   Orpheus says, 'I have
                                    business in there,
                                   Cerberus says, 'And ... you
                                    ain't got one'
                                   it's all connected... basic
                                   Orpheus says, 'In Hell,
                                    not the other place.'
                                   Orpheus says, 'Assuming
                                    that's what you meant.'
                                   Cerberus snarls
                                                                        hell is other people
                                   Cerberus says, 'You're not
                                    getting in'
                                   Suddenly Orpehus
                                    realizes he has no idea
                                    what he is doing here.
                                   Cerberus says, 'Did you bring
                                    me a treat?'
                                   Cerberus reconsiders
                                   Orpheus says, 'I seem to
                                    have forgotten there on
                                    the crossing.'
                                   Orpheus says, 'I was
                                    going to-- going to--'
                                   Cerberus says, 'A
                                   Orpheus throws Cerberus
                                    the Boatman.
                                   sing a song?
                                   Orpheus says, 'Catch.'
                                                                        Hades is cooking up a new
                                                                         recipe he saw in this
                                                                         month's Pestilence Age
                                   Orpheus says, 'Oh
                                    right-- the song.'
                                   Orpheus says, 'Listen,
                                                                        Ebola Surprize
                                   Cerberus catches the boatman
                                    in his Beezlebum cap
                                   --I know you are a dog. 

                                   Cerberus snarls
                                   --I am a poet.
                                   --You do your dog thing.
                                   --I sing.
bow wow
                                   Orpheus says, 'And I
                                    came for my wife.'
                                   Cerberus rolls on the ground
                                   in pain
                                   in shit
                                   blood coming from all four
oh is that what it is
                                   moan moan
                                   howl howl
                                   Orpheus says, 'Eurydice.'
                                   Orpheus says, 'She's
                                   The Gates of Hell shudder
                                   Orpheus says, 'In the
                                    usual sense.'
ho ho
                                   Cerberus checks the hell
                                   soma sema
                                   Cerberus dies
                                   she's dead
                                                                        your money or your wife

                                   Orpheus says, 'You can't
                                    die yet dog.'
someone in the RL audience
 snaps a picture
                                   Orpheus says, 'You have
                                    to listen to my song.'
                                   --I am the music.
                                   all of it
                                   Cerberus is catatonic
                                                                        Can we get Neil Diamond
                                   --The music tells a
                                   --This is my story.
                                   walks in his death
                                   Orpheus takes his chance
                                    and slips through the
                                    Gates of Hell.
                                                                        let me guess
                                   singing softly
                                   --Orpheus loves Eurydice.
                                   Cerberus hitches a ride on
                                    Charon's boat
                                   The Gates close behind him
                                   --No one knows the whole
                                    of it.
                                   --Each one plays a part.
i know
                                                                        you write the songs that make
                                                                         the young girls sing
                                   --Eurydice is my heart.
don't worry i aint sayin
                                   CURTAIN DOWN
                                   Cerberus beats it to New York
                                   BRIEF PAUSE
maryMaenad wipes her brow
maryMaenad looks around for
 cute boys
she's feelin hungry
Vinny nibbles
maryMaenad cleans her nails
                                   ANNOUNCEING SCENE 2:
                                    MEANWHILE, BACK ON EARTH
                                                                        Orpheus looks around
                                                                         desparately for the scenario.
                                                                        feeling grooo -- vy....
                                   <--------------- Earth thisaway
maryMaenad scratches her head
Vinny flashes a toothy grin
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'Oh shut up my
                                                                         songs are not that bad.'
                                   CURTAIN UP
                                   a rocky landscape in Greece,
                                    quite different from Hell
Vinny says, 'Not really'
maryMaenad dances a dervish
 while muttering to herself
maryMaenad's eyes glaze over
Vinny notices it's pretty dead
                                   twisted olive trees
                                   not Kansas
the rocks refuse to move
the trees refuse to sway
Vinny [to maryMaenad]: Have
 you seen Orph?
                                   these are not the famous
                                    weeping rocks
                                                                        hell is freezing over
though the sky still is blue
maryMaenad [to Vinny]: uh who
maryMaenad slips another x
 under her tongue
                                   what sky?
Vinny says, 'I think it's been
 ages since you heard a good
maryMaenad twirls
                                                                        The Candy Man can 
                                                                         cuz he mixes it with luv
maryMaenad says, 'Uh yeah,
Vinny says, 'Whennnnnn the....
moon in the sky...'
                                   Orpheus wrote that?
maryMaenad's body
 can't stop movin'
maryMaenad says, 'Oh, another
 cheesy love song'
                                                                        DO you KNOW the WAY to
                                                                         San JoSE...
Vinny says, 'Isn't Orph one
 swell guy?'
maryMaenad read dionysos'
 little red book
Vinny says, 'I mean didn't he
 write that one?'
                                                                        Don't you mean Orff
                                                                        Carmina Burana was lou-zee
Vinny says, 'Like a big pizza
Vinny says, 'Atz a moeire.'
maryMaenad [to Vinny]: so you
 think me and the girls will
 like orpheus
Vinny dances with Mary and
 croons at the moon missing
maryMaenad nibbles on vinny's
 ear... uh rear
Vinny dumpling, 'All the
 music... we need it all...'
                                   what reeks?
Vinny points to the shits.
Vinny reeks, 'What Hymen love
 without music?'
too much information
                                   what's going on here?
Vinny notices our words don't
Vinny shoes, 'We've been had.'
maryMaenad silently repeats
 her mantra of worship
                                                                        Read art exciting book by
                                                                         some idiot
Vinny acts surprised.
maryMaenad [to herself]: eats
 betesticled one
Vinny shoes, 'Wot's this?'
                                                                        published by some idiot
maryMaenad [to herself]:
 reeks erection
Vinny shits, 'Ho ho!'
maryMaenad [to herself]: shoes
Vinny art, 'There boinks a
 vampant verb here.'
maryMaenad eats, 'Gabble
 gabble goo goo'
Reeks Hymen, 'Orpheus cum
 back and bring your wife!'
Shoes stares into reeks
art drinks another glass
 dumpling wine
                                   Digital_Director reeks, 'Can
                                    anyone understand any art
Boinks shits, 'Atz a moeire.'
why ask
shits looks for that art thang
Reeks has Beelzebub dumpling
 taken out Beelzebub his
heh there's kids in da house
                                   CURTAIN DOWN
Vinny looks at fate
thank god
                                   WHO SAID THAT?
                                   BRIEF PAUSE WHILE WE GET OUR
                                    WORDS BACK
Vinny says, 'Where is Orpheus?'
who said what
Vinny waits for the next scnee
maryMaenad pleasures herseldf
 since no one else seems to

                                   SCENE 3: ORPHEUS IN THE
ready over here
                                                                        Eury says, 'Ready'
                                                                        Hades is preparing for a
                                                                         match at the FourHorsemen
                                                                         Polo Club
                                   CURTAIN UP AGAIN
                                                                        Orpheus tunes up his lyre for
                                                                         the theme song from Body and
                                   CURTAIN UP ON HELL
                                                                        Eurydice wants to go with
sorta like tennis
                                   a sleazy underworld indeed
                                                                        Eury loves horses

                                                                        Hades .. o O (That Eury,
                                                                         wotta babe!!!!)
                                                                        Orpheus hums, I love you dead
                                                                         or alive.
Vinny pokes Mary
                                                                        Hades .. o O (My head ain't
                                                                         been right since Persophone
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'That's it,
                                                                        Eury says, 'At least we have
                                                                         love of horse flesh in
                                   Cerberus smells bad
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'That's it,
                                                                        Orpheus sings,
                                                                        Hades .. o O (Wot does she do
                                                                         with horses.)
                                                                        Hades says, 'Hi, Orff.'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'It was a
                                                                         surprise to me, too.'
                                                                        Eury says, 'What's he doing
                                                                        Hades says, 'You are one
                                                                         low-zee composer.'
Vinny thinks she's cute.
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'I came for
                                                                         you, Eurydice.'
                                                                        Hades says, 'I really HATED
                                                                         Carmina Burana'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'And art came
                                                                         with me.'
maryMaenad blushes, oh stop
                                                                        Eury says, 'Why?'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'Song came with
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'You come with
                                                                        Hades .. o O (Omyfuckingod)
maryMaenad puts a pie in the
                                                                        Eury says, 'I'm sick of your
                                                                        Orpheus sings, Eurydice, come
                                                                         with me.
                                                                        Eury says, 'You've tired me
                                                                         out with your songs.'
                                                                        Hades HATES bad art...
                                                                        Eury says, 'Who can listen to
                                                                         your songs anymore?'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'Or else it's
                                                                         going to remain a verbal
                                                                         garbage dump up there.'
                                                                        Hades says, 'Hey, Orff.'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'If you hate
                                                                         bad art, boot me back
                                                                        Hades says, 'Can you do that
                                                                         song from 'Cats?'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'With the girl.'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'I don't leave
                                                                         without Eurydice.'
                                                                        Eury says, 'I agree with
                                                                         Hades, there is nothing
                                                                         worse than bad art. ''
                                                                        Hades says, 'You know,
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'That's why I
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'Remember the
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'Or do I have
                                                                         to sing it again?'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'It did in the
                                                                        Eury says, 'You can't get rid
                                                                         of bad art. Not very easily.'
                                                                        Hades says, 'We really don't
                                                                         need your kind down here.'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'My voice too.'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'It's been
                                                                         hard, singing to two-headed
what you don't know how to
                                                                        Orpheus looks around
                                                                         threateningly and tunes up.
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'You asked for
                                   so, is it a deal? can he leave?
                                                                        Orpheus sings:
                                                                        --Eurydice, my only song.
                                                                        Hades says, 'Please,
                                                                         go... Leave the wifey with
                                                                         ol' Hades'
                                                                        Eurydice puts her hands over
                                                                         her ears
                                                                        Hades will wine and dine her
                                                                        --Eurydice, my heart.
                                                                        --I came to sing my part
                                                                        Hades will take you to voodoo
                                                                        Hades will feed you with dead
                                                                        --And win tears from the King
                                                                         of Hell.
                                                                        Hades says, 'Bad music can do
                                                                        Hades really cannot stand
                                                                         this poet
                                                                        Orpheus turns to Persephone,
                                                                         who, unbeknownst to most
                                                                         members of the cast, has
                                                                         been sitting silently in the
                                                                        Orpheus sings to Persephone.
                                                                        Hades says, 'God! My Ex!'
                                                                        --Oh woman who brings spring
                                                                         to Earth
                                                                        Eury says, 'I've spent years
                                                                         with him-- I know all his
                                                                         faults better than you.'
                                                                        --And Love to Hell
                                                                        Hades vomits up a dead banker
                                                                        --Join my song.
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'Please.'
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'Give her back
                                                                         to me.'
                                                                        Hades starts tormenting
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'You'll have
                                                                         her forever.'
                                                                        just fer fun
                                                                        Hades says, 'I do have her
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'But now, it's
                                                                         my turn.'
                                                                        Hades says, 'Stupid'
                                                                        Orpheus raises his arms.
                                                                        Orpheus raises his voice.
                                                                        Eury says, 'My voice is a
                                                                         scratchy record.'
                                                                        Hades says, 'I'll make a deal
                                                                        Hades says, 'You go, she
                                                                        even though it's a little
                                                                         hoarse from the poem to a dog
                                                                        Hades says, 'My final offer'
                                                                        Orpheus sings, Eurydice.
                                                                        Hades says, 'I'm being
                                                                        Hell echoes Orpheus' song.
                                                                        Eury says, 'Don't include me
                                                                         in the two of your
                                                                        Hades says, 'PLEASE!'
                                                                        Hades says, 'No more song!'
                                                                        Hell sings, Eu-ri-ri-ri--
                                                                        Hades [to Eury]: You shut up
                                                                        Eury says, 'Leave me out of
                                                                        Hades [to Eury]: BABE
                                                                        Hell sings, di-ce-ce-ce.
                                                                        Hades blinks.
                                                                        It's over.
                                                                        The boy's got the girl.
                                                                        Hades kicks O. out of
                                                                         hell possibly for good
                                                                        Hades says, 'I mean, 'Get out
                                                                         of hell possibly for good'
                                                                        They dash for the Gates,
                                                                         Eurydice hot on Orpheus'
                                                                        Hades says, 'You can go, but
                                                                         she stays'
                                                                        Hades says, 'All right'
                                                                        Hades says, 'You can go. BUT'
                                                                        Orpheus turns back and yells,
                                                                         TOO LATE
                                                                        Eury [to Hades]: I've seen
                                                                         enough light .. Now it is
                                                                         time for me to settle into
                                                                         my cave.
                                                                        Hades says, 'You must not
                                                                         look back'
                                                                        Hades says, 'DEAL?'
                                                                        Orpheus yells, We're gone!
                                                                        Orpheus sings, We're gone!
                                                                        Orpheus looks back.

                                   HE LOOKED BACK
                                   THE GIRL STAYS IN HELL
                                   HE BLEW IT AGAIN
                                   AS ALWAYS

                                                                        Hades says, 'GAW HAW   
                                   CURTAIN DOWN IN DISGUST
circle jerk
                                   a collective sigh
                                   the audience is silent
Vinny is on his cellular
the online audience is NOT
                                                                        Hades makes a reservation for
                                                                         a room in the Poconos
                                   CURTAIN UP ON SCENE 4:
                                   ORPHEUS SOLO
Vinny orders a pizza
another solo
                                                                        Hades .. o O (That Orff would
                                                                         make a lousy lounge act)
with guest accompaniment
                                   spare us
                                                                        Hades .. o O (Needs an orange
                                                                        Eury says, 'Now you know 
                                                                         what i've been living with the
                                                                         last twenty years.'
                                   bathroom break
                                   Orpheus looks back on
                                    the whole thing.
                                                                        How about Quand j'etais roi
                                                                         de Boetia...
                                   Orpheus does not
                                    remember if he ever
                                   Orpheus tunes up his
                                    lyre, a proto-keyboard
                                   Orpheus sings.
                                   --We cannot say, This
                                    man is happy.
                                   --This woman, not.
                                   --We do not know a life
                                    till it is gone.
                                   Orpheus looks over the
                                    River Styx and weeps.
                                   --My life sails away
                                    like a ship.
                                                                        How about Tubthumping by
                                   Orpheus says, 'Why do
                                    you always give me
                                    these parts?'
                                   Orpheus says, 'Why do I
                                    always play the fool?'
                                   you beg for them
                                                                        seems obvious...
                                   because you are one
Vinny thinks you need a good
                                   Orpheus says, 'Who knows
                                    why I did it?'
                                   Orpheus says, 'Why I
                                    turned to see?'
                                   Orpheus says, 'What's my
                                   we know
                                   Orpheus says, 'Huh?'
                                                                        hell has its allures....
                                   Orpheus says, 'Why did I
                                    even go?'
just stupid
attention deficit disorder
                                   Orpheus says, 'What did
                                    I tell my friends when
                                    I left?'
probably the first recorded
                                   no friends
                                   Orpheus says, 'I'm going
                                    to Hell for a few days,
                                    please take in the
                                   Orpheus sighs.
                                   Orpheus sings.
                                   --What did I think would
                                   --I'd get back
                                    Eurydice's shade
                                   --Like a wind in my
                                    sails, crying, Orpheus?
                                                                        Hades on the whole prefers
                                                                         Whitney Houston
                                   --I'd drag her body
                                    stinking from the grave?
                                   Orpheus buries his head
                                    in his hands.
                                   --The body is a tomb.
                                   --I, Orpheus, long dead,
                                    bring back a corpse: my
                                   Orphesu fingers the
                                    strings of the lyre.
                                   They do not sound in
                                   Orpheus sings in
                                    fragments to the river
                                    of forgetting.
                                   --What did I think would
                                   --What did I think?
                                   CURTAIN QUIETLY DOWN
oh no not again
                                   you call that a brief scene?
                                   SCENE 5: RETRIBUTION?
                                   THAT IS, SCENE 5
                                   BACK ON EARTH
                                   CURTAIN UP
maryMaenad chomps on the bit
                                                                        Hades can think of one
                                                                         performance where forgetting
                                                                         is quite appropriate
Vinny chomps on the pizza
maryMaenad says, 'Dion dion
dogMaenad comps the performance
Eurymaenad .. o O (I wonder
 if I am who I think I am)
maryMaenad writhes longingly
 fer something
Vinny looks at Eury
something to eat
someone to love
someone to devour
Vinny says, 'Hey, didn't I
 see you in Alien Resurrection?'
Eurymaenad says, 'I was in
 the shadows. I had accepted
 the shadows.'
                                   someone to rip apart
someone for me
Eurymaenad says, 'He lured me
 out. He lured me out to
 destroy me.'
maryMaenad keeps twirling
round and round
Vinny says, 'I lag therefore
 I am.'
Eurymaenad says, 'He wanders
 around in the light'
dogMaenad awakens
Eurymaenad says, 'Where is
Eurymaenad says, 'Orpheus!!!!'
maryMaenad wants to get her
 hands on orpheus
Eurymaenad says, 'My lovely
                                                                        Hades has a certain sinking
Eurymaenad says, 'I have
 gifts for you'
rip him in little bits
dogMaenad wants to kill
and return hinm to his beloved
                                                                        Hades had hoped he would be
                                                                         rid of this poet for a while
throw him in a river
burn the remains
Vinny passes out his card
maryMaenad realizes that if
 we really want to make
 orpheus unhappy...
                                                                        Hades pages frantically
                                                                         through his Users Guide to
we'd make him IMMORTAL
make him a star?
Eurymaenad wants to arrange
 to have Orpheus's stallion
 trample him to death
that way he's never reunited 
 with his beloved
give him to Apollo?
Vinny says, 'I still think he
 needs a good lawyer.'
                                                                        Hades hopes Orff will
                                                                         somewhow be spared death
Eurymaenad .. o O (Maybe I
 will lead my mare past his
Vinny [to Eurymaenad]: You
 could use one too.
                                                                        as long as possible
no can do
the girls are all upset with
 orphie since he won't slleo
 with them
the boys seem to get it tho
                                                                        Hades says, 'Can he be
Eurymaenad .. o O (I'll let
 my mare rile up his stallion)
                                                                        Hades says, 'I have enough
                                                                         mediocrities down here
Eurymaenad .. o O (Let the
 stallion lose control)
the Maenads all want him dead
well maybe not all
they have their reasons
maryMaenad just wants someone
 to love
                                                                        Hades says, 'Princess Die, ''
Eurymaenad .. o O (Throw him
 from his back into the mud.)
Eurymaenad says, 'Descend on
dogMaenad just wants
Eurymaenad says, 'Bite into
                                                                        Hades says, 'Ladies, ladies,
                                                                        Hades says, 'Come to your
Vinny wonders what Orph is
                                                                        Hades says, 'Be reasonable!'
Eurymaenad says, 'Scatter the
 pieces of flesh into the
maryMaenad says, 'Let me
 have him'
Eurymaenad says, 'Pink flesh,
 brown mud.'
Vinny says, 'Orpheus is
scatter the pieces all over
 the earth
so many ways to kill him, so
 little time....
Vinny gasps
in fact, it's too late
so art will be plentiful
                                                                        Hades says, 'I already have
                                                                         Wallace Stevens down here'
what did he die of?
Eurymaenad says, 'Buried,
 walked on, disappeared'
                                                                        Hades says, 'Isn't that bad
Vinny checks his pulse.
maryMaenad says, 'I'd let him
you have to ask?
maryMaenad says, 'Forever'
                                                                        Hades slaps his hand against his
                                                                        Hades knew it wuz cuming
he died of.....
well done
Vinny says, 'His body is cold'
he died of....
uh huh
he died of....
Eurymaenad says, 'Estrangement'
old age
who cares
Vinny shakes his head.
young love
                                   CURTAIN DOWN FOR A MOMENT
Vinny gives everyone his card.
last scene comin right up
Vinny says, 'He coulda been
                                   CURTAIN UP ON:
Vinny says, 'He coulda been a
                                                                        Hades glumly welcomes O. to
                                   LATER THAT EVENING...
maryMaenad says, 'He coulda
 been my man'
he was a lovely man when he
 was young
                                   A WAYKE: SCENE 6
he was the music man
he had a way with words
He was a cousin of Dionysus
he had a way with women
he was the lady's man
he had a way with boys
                                                                        Hades .. o O (Let's face it,
                                                                         I already have Hitler,
                                                                         Stalin, )
people often fell in love
 with him when they saw him
 riding his horse'
he was overdue in his
gosh, he even had a way with
he had a way with himself
                                                                        Hades .. o O (One more
                                                                         monstrosity more or less)
                                   They say Orpheus could
                                    stop rivers in their
                                                                        Hades .. o O (Will hardly
                                                                         make a diff. in Hail)
                                                                        away with him
                                   a lament for orpheus
                                    resounds among the rocks
                                   the weeping rocks
                                                                        Hades can if you will excuse
                                                                         the term live with it
                                   The say Orpheus could make
                                    rocks weep.
                                                                        away with him
his music was so sweet in the
gravel gravel
                                   The say Orpheus could make
                                    trees run.
                                   They say Orpheus means
                                    'The dark one.'
                                                                        yeah, run AWAY
not so much in the end
Vinny says, 'Ah yes...'
                                   They say Orpheus was
                                    Dionysus' cousin.
i hate when trees have the

                                                                        He was a lyre.
                                   They say Orpheus could
                                    stop rivers in their
he himself stood up straight
 as a tree
                                   They say Orpheus could
                                    make rocks weep.
a phat lyre
                                   He was not very good at
                                    what he did
                                                                        Mighty Orfin Power Rangers
                                   He was too hasty
Vinny says, 'I think he
 should have made at least
 one gold record...'
he was not really nasty enuf
                                   He was too quiet
It's like getting water out
 of a stone
enuf said
                                                                        he couldn't make even one
                                                                         plastic record...
he was too loud
                                   it's written on his
                                    tombstone even now:
                                   They say Orpheus could
                                    make trees run.
Vinny says, 'He should have
 had an agent... AND a lawyer'
                                                                        even one cardboard record
whadda ya want from the guy
his compassion was never
                                   The anus is a tomb.
                                                                        Orpheus can make my bowels
speak for yourself
Orpheus was an anus?
or a tomb?
on the best of daze
Vinny says, 'Or an ass.'
                                                                        Hades says, 'Lezz boogie,
                                                                         Eury baby.'
                                   HE WAS JUST A POET
                                                                        Hades says, 'Ditch that
aren't we all
                                   CURTAIN DOWN
                                   CURTAIN ALL THE WAY DOWN
Vinny says, 'Eury...I can get
 you alimony...'
                                                                        Orpheus' shade whispers, I
                                                                         was Orpheus.
                                   THE END

---------POSTMOOTEM, OF SORTS--------------

maryMaenad nails the curtain
 to the floorboards
thank you
                                   it's over ALL BUT THE
then stomps it with her heel
double thank you
                                   Digital_Director steps
                                    out and gestures to the
                                    performers to take a bow
maryMaenad waves BYEBYE to
 the RL audience
                                   Digital_Director thanks
                                    the performers and the
Eurymaenad bows
                                                                        Hades says, 'Luvyall,
                                                                        Orpheus bows shyly.
Vinny passes out his card to
 the audience.
The earth kisses its patient
 patrons farewell
Eurydice curtsies
                                   Digital_Director thanks
                                    the screen and the
                                    words and everything
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'I was Orpheus.'
dogMaenad smells the audience's
                                                                        Hades says, 'Y''all come back
                                                                         now, y'hear?'
maryMaenad genuflects
Vinny says, 'I was Orpheus'
or however you spell that
                                   Digital_Director says,
                                    'You are all invited
                                    now to our after-
                                    performance discussion.'
maryMaenad wonders about
 the student's body
                                                                        and those great guyz who
                                                                         invented the alphabet
Eurydice feels her shadowy
 presence fade away
                                   Digital_Director says,
                                    'Please ask us
                                                                        You mean dissection
Cerberus [to Vinny]: no, I was
                                   Digital_Director says,
                                    'Just give us a sec to
                                    wipe off the greasepaint'
maryMaenad says, 'Don't ask
 me nothin'
or me
me neither
nor i
no one was talkin to you
i saw them look
Vinny says, 'Anyone need a
 good lawyer?'
we all do
                                                                        Hades needs a shot of
we all do
maryMaenad looks for that
 crack vile
Cerberus says, 'Don't believe
                                                                        Hades goes slowly to pieces
maryMaenad says, 'I'm sure
 there was some left'
Vinny pets the dog
just one mo hit
Vinny pets Hades
                                                                        Hades says, 'Good job all'
                                                                        Orpheus wonders if this is
                                                                         the moment for another brief
Cerberus says, 'She's downing
 a fifth as we wait'
                                                                        Hades says, 'Ahem...'
Cerberus pounces on Orpheus
Vinny says, 'Can I get a
maryMaenad thinks RL expects
 something from us
rips off his head
                                                                        Orpheus says, 'They always
                                                                         get the booze.'
maryMaenad [to Vinny]: drink
 vinnie drink
Vinny says, 'Oh let's just be
Vinny grins
                                                                        Hades hums the theme for
                                                                         Hawaii Five-O
Cerberus raises eyebrows
maryMaenad untucks her penis
Cerberus shudders
Vinny says, 'Books Danno'
Sappho lapphos
maryMaenad says, 'Oh excuse me'
Digital_Director says, 'Does anyone have any question or comments? The
 performers can now hear you.'
maryMaenad has more fun than the usual
Hades wants to welcome back Peaches & Herb
Lucky_Guest says, 'What happened in that quiet part?'
maryMaenad waves to the virtual audience
Cerberus eats the split screen
Vinny looks at Mary
Digital_Director says, 'Which quiet part?'
Orpheus says, 'I was lag-locked.'
Hades has vanished
Vinny says, 'So was I.'
Lucky_Guest says, 'When it got all quiet and creepy...'
and LOVES what she sees
Vinny says, 'OH ... THAT WAS the voodoo part...'
yes creepy
Hades says, 'Well, audience...'
as in slow?
Hades says, 'Are you there?'
Vinny says, 'Where we all cast spells on you.'
Lucky_Guest says, 'As in creepy and weird.'
a la Screamin Jay
Cerberus is confused
or Wired
Orpheus [to Lucky_Guest]: Do you jmean when nothing moved on the screen, or
Sappho says, 'What happened to the dog?'
Vinny says, 'No...we were on the phone ording pizza.'
Orpheus [to Lucky_Guest]: Do you remember any key words to identify the part
 you're talking about?
Hades wants anchovies on his
Cerberus says, 'The director put a muzzle on me'
Vinny says, 'Me too.'
Herod says, 'I don't like anchovies'
Lucky_Guest says, 'Yeah like slow and creepy and wired and not much going on'
Vinny .. o O (No attention span.)
Hades [to Herod]: Better than pineapple
Vinny glares at Hades
the_world says, 'I thought it was lots of fun'
Triton says, 'Does anyone know what Lucky_Guest is talking about?'
Vinny smiles at the world
the_world says, 'And i am going to remember feeding on dead bankers forever'
Orpheus [to Lucky_Guest]: Lag. Sometimes you type, and it takes a while for
 the various elements in the communications system to process the material.
 Lag on the server, lag on the Net, lag on fas, etc. For that time, nothing
 moves on the screen.
Cerberus smiles at Vinny
Vinny thinks Lucky has a bad wire.
Hades has the unmistakable impression of lite rock
Digital_Director suddenly has lots of lag
Hades says, 'Very hard to find a pizzeria that features dead bankers.'
Hades says, 'Malheureusement'
very suddenly
Herod says, 'Hard but not impossible'
the_world says, 'Laughing'
Hades thought Lag was the name of a laundry detergent
Vinny says, 'It is!'
the_world says, 'I liked the back up of the left screen, very nice touch'
wino liked it
New Super-Power Lag! Now with Borax!
Socrates says, 'How many of you can wpeak (should be speak) without
 in who wrote suddenly??'
Cerberus wonders if these are questions?
Herod says, 'Or just more answers?'
how metaphysical
Digital_Director says, 'We can all speak without names'
Herod says, 'Very'
Vinny says, 'What's it all about?'
Orpheus [to Socrates]: Any character can produce text that doesn't have a
 name-tag on it by using a special command.
Lucky_Guest says, 'Can we speak without names?'
Cerberus says, 'We can also speak without words'
Digital_Director says, 'Guests have to be themselves, alas.'
Vinny says, 'I can't.'
Herod says, 'Very very meta'
the_world says, 'How do you set up the action so that you know when to come in'
Orpheus [to Socrates]: You type  and what appears on the screen
Digital_Director [to Vinny]: you do have a spoof verb, it's sn, it should work
Vinny laughs hard.
Hades says, 'As you can see it is is difficult'
Digital_Director [to Vinny]: I checked, you have it.
it don't
Vinny says, 'Oh there it goes.'
it didn't work before
Orpheus [to the_world]: We work out a scenario in advance.
Hades says, 'Which we follow somewhat clumsily'
Vinny [to Orpheus]: yeah right...
Vinny snickers
Lucky_Guest says, 'So all the performers know what's coming?'
Cerberus [to Digital_Director]: he was spoofing all along...don't believe him
Orpheus [to the_world]: We rehearse several times. Each time, the
 Digital.Director reworks the scenario.
Hades says, 'Not quite...'
Socrates says, 'How long does it take to work out the scenario?''
Cerberus says, 'Two seconds'
Vinny says, 'Night and day'
the_world says, 'I liked it a lot i wish there had been more wisecracking from
 the left'
Digital_Director claps her hand to forehead: of course.
Orpheus [to Socrates]: a month
Hades says, 'It's so E-Z.'
Vinny was silenced.
the_world says, 'The three part set up is wonderful'
Hades says, 'Yeah, it's not bad.'
Cerberus says, 'I did that'
Digital_Director says, 'We like it, the_world'
Hades [to Cerberus]: good boy
Orpheus [to Lucky_Guest]: We never really know what's coming because we
 improvise on the scenario.
Vinny grumbles
Hades says, 'We would never really know what's coming anyway. That's just an
Cerberus throws Vinny a pineapple
the_world says, 'So ceberus is not just a dog, he can also program woof woof'
Orpheus says, 'And we never like the scenarios.'
Vinny smiles
Digital_Director thanks dome and coolie, resident programmer geniuses of the
Orpheus says, 'That's how we drive the director to distraction.'
Hades says, 'Rather like life itself'
Cerberus says, 'And we never like Orpheus'
Digital_Director finds it very strange to be directing in such a silent rl
the_world says, 'Dd did seem a bit testy compared to other performances'
Hades likes Orffenbach though
Orpheus says, 'I got off lucky this evening--what happened to the
 being-torn-to-pieces act?'
Cerberus says, 'She muzzled all of us'
Vinny Dd is always testy
Sappho says, 'What are some other scenerios you've done?'
let's hear a can-can
except Orpheus
Vinny says, 'Little Hamlet'
Hades says, 'The Candide Campagne'
Digital_Director draws herself up to her full height of a capital X
Orpheus says, 'Campaign'
Vinny says, 'Moby Dick'
Hades says, 'Champagne'
Herod says, 'In what font?'
DD is a lousy director
Hades says, 'How was mody dick?'
Orpheus says, 'Then we did this awful thing which fortunately was never seen
 because the producer threw a snit and pulled the plug in Venice. Really.'
Digital_Director says, 'Little Hamlet was an id-based version of Hamlet.... id
 as in non-ego'
but a great dictator
Herod says, 'Long, real long'
Lucky_Guest says, 'Is it always the same group of performers?'
Hades says, 'Moody dick...sounds like a band'
the_world says, 'Oh no, she is a wonderful experimental artist'
Cerberus says, 'Don't call her an artist...'
Orpheus [to Digital_Director]: I hope you copied and pasted that one, dd.
Cerberus says, 'She'll cut off your head'
Hades [to the_world]: Are you a Tarot Card?
Digital_Director says, 'We have a core group of performers who have done most
 of the series... and others we use infrequently.'
the_world says, 'I don't have two to spare like you cerberus'
Digital_Director says, 'Most of the core group is here tonight.'
Cerberus says, 'Try demon she likes that'
master demoness
Hades says, 'She meant grope.'
Vinny says, 'Don't say the A word to any of us.'
Orpheus looks in the mirror and sees a core group.
Hades suddenly feels very touchy-feely
the_world says, 'Ass'
Vinny says, 'It's more like group therapy.'
Orpheus says, 'We just use her as a focus for negative energy.'
Herod says, 'Ass=funny'
Eurydice feels a little shadowy
Vinny says, 'She channels us.'
the_world says, 'No wonder she was so hot'
Orpheus [to Digital_Director]: You were hot?
wino says, 'Why are you doing this on the day without art?'
Lucky_Guest says, 'Does it feel like acting or writing?'
Herod says, 'Good question'
Hades says, 'Should be obvious.'
maryMaenad has disconnected.
the_world says, 'Laughing'
Vinny says, 'We didn't really do it.'
which is it?
Vinny says, 'There's absolutely no proof.'
Hades says, 'Ah s'pose Ah jes' happened.'
the_world says, 'We saw you do it'
Digital_Director says, 'It happened 3 hours earlier in California... or
 rather, it didn't happen three hours earlier'
Eurydice [to wino]: it's a writer's fantasy of acting
Hades says, 'It hasn't happened yet in California'
the_world says, 'You could sing the king of boetia, nice.'
Orpheus [to wino]: We do this all the time. Real question is how this
 performance relates to the Day W/o Art. Subject. Silent.
Orpheus [to Digital_Director]: Actually, it didn't happen yet in California.
Digital_Director says, 'The day without art is not really a day without art...
 it's a misnomer.'
Vinny says, 'If a cyberplay goes on on the east coast and no one is there to
 see it...'
Hades says, 'It's like the elections'
Digital_Director says, 'It's a pointer to the potential of days without art.
 What does it even mean to say you can have a day without art?'
Digital_Director says, 'So a few museums close, that means we have no art?'
Orpheus nods elections.
Hades says, 'The East decides and California follows like a stupid mongrel'
Vinny says, 'We just had one.'
Orpheus says, 'That's why Californians don't really have to vote.'
Herod says, 'I hope that no electrons were hurt or killed to put on this
Digital_Director laughs
Orpheus says, 'It just sorta happens.'
Hades says, 'Californians are too dumb to vote'
Hades says, 'Heh, he, jes' a li'l joke there...'
Hades doesn't want to get ripped apart himself
Herod says, 'I wonder who elects the governor of califormia'
Cerberus puts on his dancing shoes
Vinny says, 'No seriously folks.'
Hades says, 'Eight fat guys meeting in Santa Barbara.'
Digital_Director notices that none of the performers are commenting on the
 performance itself... for a change.
Hades says, 'Eight SHORT fat guys'
Vinny says, 'What performance?'
Digital_Director notices that none of the performers are performing lewd acts
 on each other... for a change.
Herod says, 'Eight sorta short bald fat guys'
Cerberus says, 'What performance?'
Digital_Director wonders what got into you guys...
Herod says, 'Exactly'
Cerberus high fives Vinny
the_world says, 'Why did you muzzle them so much dd?'
Orpheus [to Digital_Director]: What do you want me to say? That the timing was
 off in the Hades scene?
Cerberus [to Digital_Director]: you mean the one-man play
Digital_Director says, 'What do you mean, muzzle them? You mean, ask them to
 be silent?'
Orpheus says, 'Because when we all always talk, it gets too crazed.'
crazed is the name of the game
Orpheus says, 'Our goal here was modulation.'
the_world says, 'But i love that'
Digital_Director nods Orpheus comment about too much talking.
Orpheus says, 'Monologue, dialogue, polylogue scenes.'
Hades says, 'We know the world likes it crazed'
Lucky_Guest says, 'So the director can shut them up? and does?'
the_world says, 'Ah, sort of a violent rather than a tuba type performance'
Digital_Director says, 'It's hard to find a balance between too much and too
 little, which makes the energy sag.'
Hades says, 'Frequently'
Orpheus says, 'She can *Ask*.'
Vinny says, 'She has contracts out on us.'
Herod says, 'Last time they delivered a pizza, there was polylogue on it, so I
 had it returned'
Hades says, 'We're all consenting adults (Hyuk)'
Cerberus says, 'She doesn't ask... she shouts in your ear'

[end of Postmootem lost in cyberspace]